A Reintroduction of Self: Coming Out
Where do I even begin?
After only four days of knowing all these powerful women, a real sisterhood has formed. The magic of Girlvana has shown clear for me; these days have been the best of my life.
Day four: a day of reintroduction of self, a day of relaxation and touch, and a day of music and laughter by the fire. We started the day by writing letters to whomever we felt needed to know our truth, and for me it was the world. I let myself share with everyone here that I am gay.
The girls here are so supportive and encouraging, I love them with my whole heart for it. Creating this safe space for me to feel so comfortable to share my full self is everything. I would never have had the courage to share this with all these people face-to-face, if it hadn’t been for our guest mentor, Jessie. Jessie's impact in my life is unmeasurable. For awhile now, I have felt confident in myself, but never able to let people in on my sexuality. I wasn't sure what that reason was exactly, because I knew my family and friends would be accepting, and yet, I haven't felt able to open my mouth and say it. I now think the reason behind that was because I needed to meet Jessie before I could let people in, to my entire self.
Everything they have taught me and every word they have said, rooted so deeply in me. It was practically as if a switch went off inside of me; screaming at me that it was time. It was so meaningful for me to have Jessie in the room when I came out. I truly believe that we were all meant to be here this week, and that I couldn’t have done this or been as brave as I've been without every single person I’ve met here. I’m forever grateful to Jessie for sharing their story to all of us, and seeing this beautiful confident person right in front of me and the power they carried with being a part of the lgbtq+ community, that I have never had the privilege of being a part of until now. They made me feel safe and valid. I will be forever grateful for everything they have given me.
...and that was just the morning!
Throughout the day, the conversations I had with everyone here were so impactful and absolutely gorgeous to experience. Feeling so freely to say whatever we were thinking, and sharing so much of our lives with each other has been incredible.
We had another amazing yoga class today. Feelosophy with Ashley was a teaching moment for me. I feel like my best way to give and receive love is through touch, and I haven’t let myself express that as much as I need to, for fear of sending a wrong message, or making someone uncomfortable. I’ve learned that I don’t need to be afraid of showing the people I love affection. I can’t wait to let myself hug my friends when I need a hug.
My cabin mate and I sat in her room writing letters to all of the girls and talked for hours with such ease and importance. It shows me even further, if we learn to skip the small talk in life we have the ability to connect with so many more people in our lives. I'll never forget my experience here, and am forever thankful for the times I've spent here.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Girlvana.